Here it is, my speech:
Many people thought this day would never come, that I'd be standing here making the speech of a newly married man, myself included. Many people have also told me how lucky I am to be marrying Annita, including Annita in fact.
And so, for the very first time, I'd like to say, on behalf of my wife and I, I would like to thank you all for coming today and sharing our special day. I know this is meant to be our day, but of course it wouldn't be as special a day if it wasn't for our family and friends being here with us, and I'm sure you'll all agree that we found the ideal setting for this memorable occasion. We would like to thank you all for your presence, and your presents.
I have to start by thanking Grandma Ito for coming over. It wouldn't have been a wedding without her. And speaking of trips, I have to thank John and Sandy, who aren't even family, just great friends who came halfway around the world to see Annita get married.....Again. Most of Annita's family came over from New Zealand, her brother Roberto, his wife Carrie; her sister Lee Anne, her boyfriend Ian; and of course her father Robert, and his lovely wife Vivian. Thank you all for coming such a long way. The next time you arrive, we'll have a GPS system in the vehicle, so you won't have to trek over the western half of the state to make it here, right Annita? Thank you Robert, for giving your daughter to me. I'll try to make her as happy as I can.
Thanks also to Mom, Chuck, Dad, and Deb. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for their guidance and love. I also have to thank Chris and Kalene, for abusing me as their younger sibling. Do I have to bring up fireworks and rubber bands??? Brandon and Michael, thanks for letting me be the older brother, so I could abuse you the way I was abused......Only without the fireworks and rubber bands.
I also have to thank Pam Davis and her retinue, for cooking all of the food, and for serving this incredible meal. Thank you also to Rick Scott and his crew for smoking the pig. We tried that earlier, but I think we rolled the pig up too tight and it kept going out. Thank you to Mike Martin for his DJ'ing the dance later.
Thank you to Diane and Darla for all the decorating ideas and help. Thanks to Russel and Diane for hosting the rehearsal dinner Thursday. Another thank you to Kelsi, the pregnant wedding planner. Thanks to Brant and Landon for dressing up like penguins and escorting people into the church.
Mr. Bartlett......I'd LIKE to thank you for your speech, but I'm not sure if I will. As well as the speech, Gary was responsible for the beautiful calligraphy on the place settings. I was goin to do it myself, but most of you have seen me write. The bank and I have an agreement: if they can't read the signature, it comes out of my account. Thanks for everything you've done for Annita and I, and congratulations on your upcoming union. We wish you both the best.
How about these bridesmaids? I don't think Annita could have picked a more beautiful three ladies. Darnel, thanks for all you've done; Ann Marie, thanks for coming out from Colorado; and especially Amy. There's a reason that Annita chose you for her maid of honor. Thanks for welcoming me to your family.
Now I, on the other hand. I chose the three ugliest trolls I could find. That way, they make ME look GOOD!!!! Toby, you've been like a brother to me, whenever I needed a strong back and weak mind, you were the first one I called. Thanks for the.....How many times have you helped me move???? Hopefully for the last time, right? Jeff, always there when I needed a beer.....I mean.....Friend. And Buddha.....I mean dad. I've known for years that you would be the best man at my wedding......I just had to find the best woman to marry.
The one person int he room to which I owe the most thanks is Annita, my wife. I still can't believe that such a wonderful woman chose to marry me. She looks absolutely stunning today, as I'm sure you'll agree. I don't have to hope that our future together will be a happy one, I KNOW it will be, because every day I wake to find I love Annita twice as much as the day before. As she will tell you, I'm often wrong, but in marrying Annita, I know I've made the right decision.
Before I sit down I'd like to finish by reading a quotation I came across a couple of days ago, that I found very apt: "Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married."
With that thought in mind, I look forward to a wonderful married life together.
Thank you all.